Thursday, February 20, 2014
I tell myself over and over again, "Ready yourself for the blows." I have read about famous authors with staggering numbers of rejections or a now best-selling novel that was rejected numerous times. I think I'm ready for that first 'no' as sure as losing the lottery. BUT, it still stings. I will never be ready. Another person in California won the $425 million PowerBall, AND I got my first agent pass. It was a polite and inspiring rejection, but it doesn't matter how it's served. It hurts and emotional nerve-endings inflame. I must massage my ego back to work and continue to buy more lottery tickets.
I begged some of my family, close friends and peers, who happen to be very intelligent educators, to read my children's short chapter book. They gave incredible feedback. At first I was elated because it unstuck me. I had finished and edited a few times already. I just didn't know where to go with it; I was stuck in a catatonic state. They gave me that little push to get rolling again down that hill, and the movement was exhilarating. But then I couldn't seem to stop and the feat seemed near impossible. I'm not the type of rider that likes to climb steep roller-coaster mountains and zoom down at break-neck speed. So, I have to forcefully put the breaks on and slow down the revisions and the dizzying 180 degree turns. This is what it's all about: the elation, creation, sweat, tears, and lottery quest for publication. This is a ride that can dump me at the back of the line again and again, and why not? So many better before me have waited there too.